Purpose, Passion, & Play = Really, Truly Living
With my new transition in life going from a stay-at-home mom to kids in school FT, I’ve been asking myself “what the heck now?” I’ve been really introspective in figuring out what my next adventure will be and I’ve been struggling with pure happiness. The last few years have been a bit of a struggle for me emotionally as we have gone through a few country-wide moves, more goodbyes than I ever want to have, along with all the ups and downs of a startup life. I’ve always tried to carry myself with the grace and dignity of Jacqueline Kennedy or Grace Kelly, but I know I’ve had a few too many failings to want to admit to.
Lately, I’ve gotten pretty sick of myself. You know what I mean? Playing the whole victim thing and asking myself very unhelpful questions. This is not my normal. My friends (affectionately) refer to me as bubbly and happy. Always having something in the oven, cracking jokes, thrill seeking, daring. So I’ve been trying to figure out what the heck happened and more importantly, how do I get it back?
I realized that I’ve been missing 3 key ingredients to a successful life… purpose, passion, and play. I started taking myself WAY too seriously and had put my identity in my children and husband, as I can imagine a lot of SAHM’s do. Once they didn’t need me so much anymore I felt lost and purposeless. I denied myself the simple pleasures of the things that I enjoy so very much. I stopped baking all kinds of fun treats, I cooked only out of obligation, I stopped sewing and crafting and anything that wasn’t what I considered “work”. I read a LOT less than I’d like. I stopped laughing.
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I DO THIS?!
False Guilt. If I wasn’t contributing in the way I thought I should then I shouldn’t be having fun. Also, while my husband was in the do or die stage of his startup company, working hard and going through some trials, I felt I definitely shouldn’t be enjoying MY life. Crazy. I know. But that’s how I thought. Maybe empathizing TOO much. My typical, but growing personality type is unfortunately that of a people pleaser. Hardly able to say no to someone, never wanting to ask for help, and I’ve been accused of apologizing way too much by many many friends. ugh. So it’s easy to see how I fell into this trap.
Thankfully I have a great group of friends throughout the country, along with a very supportive husband who challenges me to always dream and be the best version of myself.
Through introspection and doing the best I can to ask myself quality questions I’ve figured out a few keys to happiness and a successful life and how to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Very importantly, play again. Through play we discover who we are. We learn about the world around us. We figure out what we want to do for the rest of our lives and have a good reason to do it. It makes us happy, which makes the quality of life much much sweeter. Who wants to spend the rest of their time on this planet sulking, depressed, and miserable? I’ve got way too many years left to live it that way. I have a feeling that through play, we find our purpose and our passion. Why do it if you’re not going to do it with purpose or passion? If you must go to work, do it with passion. Do it with purpose. Do it with the best darn quality you can give. Give yourself the benefit of that point of reference to say ” I did this and it was the absolute best I could give.” I want the quality of my life to be the absolute best it can possibly be. I don’t want to live just to die. I want to live to really truly passionately live. With purpose. With passion. And for heaven sakes, with a lot of laughter and play.
So live. Really truly passionately LIVE. For no one, but yourself. Through that you will be a wonderful contribution to not only your own life, but to anyone’s life that you may cross paths with.
So now, I’m off to make some Candy-Bar Fudge. Happy Happy Holidays!
